How to Talk to a Friend Who’s Had an Abortion

Your heart goes out to your friend. You may or may not agree with her decision to have an abortion, but clearly she is hurting. And reassuring her that she made the right choice, or the only choice, doesn’t seem to be helping. The last thing you want to do is judge her, but how can you help?

Listen with your heart. Offer her love and support. But don’t try to minimize her pain. And lastly, help her to find the right kind of help.

Click here to read an article with lots of practical tips on helping your friend to find the healing and support she needs. Let her know about Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats for healing. Encourage her to call Carol at 605-374-5639 or email ckling@sdplains.com.

Hope and Healing After Abortion

Why abortion is so painful:

If you’ve experienced abortion, you are not alone. About one in four women will have an abortion during their lifetime.      Many people who have experienced abortion have negative emotional and psychological symptoms that can affect them for years. If you feel guilt or shame after an abortion, know that hope and healing are available for you. To understand why abortion can be so hurtful, check out the following links.

For local information, contact Carol at 605-374-5639 or email at ckling@sdplains.com

Testimonials about Rachel’s Vineyard

I hesitated to come (to the retreat) because I knew it was going to be intense and I wasn’t 100 percent committed to the religious concepts (or I was leery of them).  The retreat far surpassed all my expectations.  I have never witnessed so much healing and relief from anything else I have observed or experienced.”


The most profound impact of my second abortion was what it did to my relationship with my husband and children.  I withdrew, participated way less in family activities, and found it hard to be emotionally connected to them.  My husband seemed to have something gnawing at him, and I was afraid it was hatred for me.  We went to the retreat three years ago.  It’s amazing to look back at where we were then and where we are now.  We are a healthy, thriving family with much love freely shared all around.”


For 18 years, I have been haunted with heavy guilt that no one could take away, tormented by thoughts of what my child would have been like.  Through participating in Rachel’s Vineyard, I was finally able to forgive myself.  I know that God has given me a peaceful mind, cleansed my heart, and has washed away my guilt.”


I experienced a great inner healing.  I would highly recommend this retreat to anyone who has felt the void and shame of the abortion experience.  It is a wonderful way to forgive yourself, find the completely unconditional love of Christ, and grieve your loss.”


No words can explain the healing that I experienced on this weekend retreat.  It was conducted with love and gentleness in an area of my life that was war-torn, raw, and bleeding.  God’s mercy and love was behind this retreat.  It was so important for me to dig deep and release the pain of the past.  I believe this made room and God, then, filled that room with genuine love for lost children, family, friends, and especially ourselves.”


It was the best weekend of my life.  I was able to share my grief, my guilt, my anger.  I was able to mourn the loss of my baby.  But most important, I was able to believe that she now lives with Jesus.  For a short time I could almost touch her and hold her and see her.  For this, I will always be grateful.”


Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats for Healing after Abortion

Abortion hurts. And regardless of your belief about whether an abortion is the right choice, it is always a painful choice. Rachel’s Vineyard weekend retreats offer a beautiful opportunity for healing anyone who has struggled with the emotional or spiritual pain of an abortion. Through a supportive and non-judgmental process, the retreat offers a safe place to find hope and to find healing.

Sometimes, we need to get away from the pressures of daily life to really discover the source of our pain. And once discovered and exposed to the light of Christ, that pain can be transformed. The mercy of Christ can penetrate even the deepest wounds, wounds which we might have thought were unforgiveable.

A Rachel’s Vineyard retreat consists of Spiritual exercises focusing on God’s forgiveness, compassion, and mercy. These spiritual exercises work on our hearts, while psychological exercises help us work through repressed grief and anger that may exist. Many preconceived fears of condemnation are transformed into blessings. Memories of abandonment, pain, and confusion are replaced by peace and reconciliation.

Rachel’s Vineyard retreat focuses on God’s love and forgiveness in a nonjudgmental environment.  Based in Catholicism, the retreat is open to and welcomes individuals of all denominations.

For more information, visit www.rachelsvineyard.org or contact Carol at 605-374-5639 or email her at ckling@sdplains.com