Making Our Way as Women, A Women’s Retreat    

By Amy Julian
Director of Family Life Ministries

On June 4, over 50 women gathered to reconnect with connect with each other, and to reconnect with the gift of their femininity at a Women’s Retreat at St. Francis of Assisi Church in Sturgis.  Camille Pauley, co-founder, president, and CEO of Healing the Culture, presented on Happiness & Love, Suffering & Brokenness, and Forgiveness & Healing. 

Effie Murphy had recently moved from New Jersey to South Dakota with her husband, Deacon Tom Murphy.  She had been very active in their prior parish in New Jersey.  When they were leaving, Effie was saying her goodbyes to another Deacon’s wife, who had been a mentor to her.  Effie recalled, “The last thing she told me was, ‘whatever parish you wind up in, make sure you offer a retreat for women!’” 

Inspired by that advice, Effie, along with Karen Gebes, also from Sturgis and Linda Syman from Spearfish, had already been thinking about a Women’s Retreat, when they attended the “Life Principles Academy” featuring Camille Pauley, presented by the Social Justice Commission in January.  “We wanted to have a retreat that focused on women, and after hearing Camille speak, we thought she’d be an excellent presenter for this retreat,” said Effie. 

Joining forces with Mary Marich, St. Francis’ Administrative Assistant, and Leslie Spiers, from Spearfish, who volunteered her musical talents, the team began to plan.  For publicity support, the team turned to Family Life Ministries.  Effie commented, “I didn’t know what to expect.  We came from a parish with 5000 people registered, which was very active.  I wasn’t sure what kind of turnout we could get at such a small parish.  It was so nice for the neighboring parishes to be able to collaborate on an event.  And I was surprised by how much support the diocese gave us.”

Even the Knights of Columbus and the Altar Society contributed, covering the speaker fee and preparing the delicious and abundant food.  With so much help, Effie shared that they plan to donate any excess money collected to the Sturgis Chapter of St. Vincent de Paul. 

Uncertain about how well the event would be attended, Effie was pleasantly surprised.  “At my previous parish, a good turnout would be 80 people, but I wasn’t sure how that would translate to such a small parish.”  She continued, “This really exceeded my expectations.  I was really impressed by the number of women that came, not only from this area, but from as far as Keystone and Wyoming.”  She was particularly impressed by the range of ages, from early 20’s to 70’s.

Ultimately, the retreat was an incredible success.  On a warm spring day, 52 women from all over the diocese gathered to “Be in love with your womanhood,” as Camille exhorted them.  “God made you a woman for the world, for the culture, for your family and for yourself.” 

Camille laid out the “Four Levels of Happiness” as defined by Plato and Aristotle, which call us into a deeper and more authentic joy as we grow into each level.  Physical happiness can be found at Level 1 in the simplest of physical pleasures, like warm coffee on cold day.  But, although good, that happiness is transitory, focused on ourselves and leaves us empty when it is over.   The gratification which stems from Level 2, Personal Achievement and Level 3, Doing Good beyond Oneself, bring more enduring happiness, but it, too eventually leaves us unfulfilled.  Only the happiness found in Level 4, the Ultimate Good, gives us the Enduring and eternal happiness which we all long for, found in the Truth, Love, Goodness and Beauty of the one true God. 

The women were also led into a reflection of the Feminine and Masculine Ethos, the way of being, or seeing the world.  Camille reflected that a lack of understanding and appreciation for the complimentary genius of Men and Women, has led our culture into believing that the only way to be considered “equal” is to be considered “same.”  And yet, our lived experience tells us that there are differences between men and women beyond the physical.  To abandon the emotional and intuitive qualities in the way women tend to relate to the world around us is to deprive the world of an important gift. 

Finally, Camille reflected on Suffering.  Using logic and reason, she walked the retreatants through an understanding of who God is NOT, how suffering can be interpreted, and with our cooperation, become redemptive.  Just as Jesus prayed to his Father, “if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will,” we, too can pray for a relief of suffering.  But, when that relief is not possible, we can recognize our humble dependence on God, and trust in his Divine Providence, that some good can derive from the worst suffering.  One retreatant commented that the short prayer “I can’t fix it Lord, You take care of it,” was perfect for parents whose children are lost or hurting. 

After multiple prayer opportunities, confession, fellowship and a prayerful praise and worship session, led by Leslie Spiers, the women left feeling “hopeful, motivated and inspired” and grateful for the opportunity to laugh, love and worship together.  Many thanks to all those who put this wonderful retreat together.