(Editor’s note: This is an excerpt from an interview Becky Berreth conducted with transitional Deacon Maxwell Vetch.)

WRC: When did you first think about the priesthood? 

Deacon Max: I’d say the first time that I seriously considered the priesthood is probably while I was already in seminary. The steps to considering the priesthood realistically were pretty gradual. The Lord was pretty slow with me which was great. I needed it. But he got me into seminary first.

For me it was first things first, go to seminary. Second thing, start asking the question. I think most guys who want to be a priest or are thinking about it seriously, that’s what drives them to seminary. For me the Lord got me there. When I was in a community that was asking themselves that question, it allowed me to do the same. 

WRC: What was your seminary visit like?
Deacon Max: It was a very strange experience. I went in the spring of my junior year at St. Thomas Moore. I wasn’t looking forward to it. I reluctantly said, “yes,” and honestly, it was amazing how the Lord got me to say “yes” given all the frustrations and fears that I had about it. 

Getting in the van with four other guys and Father Mark McCormick, I just looked around and I thought, “all these guys are so weird. I’m the youngest one here.” The rest of them were college age and I was super intimidated. They knew how to pray the Rosary. I am a practicing Catholic and could easily say that, but I didn’t know how to lead the rosary, and so I was pretty uncomfortable. However, once I got to the seminary everything changed. 

What really struck me was the way that the seminarians live their life, it looked like a lot of fun. It was the fellowship that they had. I think that weekend Andrew Sullivan and I, who was in seminary at the time when we visited, played six hours of ping pong. It was maybe even a little out of control, but the fun that they had was authentic. Anything they were doing; they weren’t doing it to show off. They were doing things in a very authentic way, and they were all pursuing something together. 

I’ve come to find out now, and it all makes sense, that they’re pursuing holiness. I didn’t really get it at the time, but the way that they lived their life was a lot of fun, and so that stuck with me. That’s what really was working in my heart afterwards. Seeing someone who lives life that way of it’s a group project, it’s fun. We’re doing this together. And there’s no need to show off.

WRC: Did you have a moment when you thought, “I am called to the priesthood?”
Deacon Max: I wouldn’t say that there was a particular moment. Maybe looking back on it in years to come I’ll be able to see it, but I’d say that it was more gradual than anything else. 

When I made the transition between philosophy and theology school, this was like a time where things were getting a little bit more serious. I was going to say, “yes, I’d like to keep going.” It was probably a lot more of the thought, “well God hasn’t called me away, so I think I’ll keep going and enjoy life in the seminary.” 

At candidacy it was a little bit more of, “okay. It’s time for me to choose this and God can change things.”

Seminary life is really fruitful, really beautiful, and I enjoyed it and that led me to believe there must be something here. Now it’s definitely not that God hasn’t called me away anymore.

WRC: What has your experience in Rome been like? 

Deacon Max: It was shocking to go there. I was definitely excited. I was a little reluctant to say yes. Father Mark basically said, “Bishop wants you to discern this so take some time to pray on it.” 

I was also nervous, being 22 years old living in a foreign country. That’s a lot to take on. So, I was definitely freaked out going over there. Having been there for years, I love it now. There are certain cultural things that are still hard to get used to — the lack of air conditioning — but I love it now. 

WRC: How would you describe your prayer life now? 

Deacon Max: My relationship with the Lord is through friendship. Different elements have come in, but I think that that’s kind of the basis of my personal spirituality. 

Friendship is a really, really deep thing that entails conversation, constant conversation with each other that entails spending time together, but more than anything else it involves living life as a group project together. Prayer is a time to remember that — remember that life is a group project together in the best way, into this deep friendship. To remember who God is and who I am in this relationship and then to allow him to keep leading me forward in that. 

WRC: What was your ordination experience?

Deacon Max: As soon as the mass started, I was overwhelmed with emotion. If you watch the mass on EWTN, you can see I was crying off and on for the whole first half of the mass. I felt so loved it hurt. I couldn’t believe the gift I was freely being given. There is nothing I have done or will do to deserve to be ordained and participate in Christ’s identity as servant. I felt the weight of this so much during the mass.

During communion, I was able to stay seated as I was not needed to administer holy communion, so it was a great time to take it all in. I took a few deep breaths and had a big smile on my face. It was over, no going back. Thank God for that.

I love being identified as His servant. It will take time to internalize what that means and how it affects me, but I already have seen an impact it has had on my own experience of life. I feel a deeper friendship with the men I’ve been ordained with as well, and a greater affection for the clergy of the Church in general as I’ve joined their ranks so to speak. I look forward to the greater friendship and communion that will come from this shared affection.

WRC: What are you looking forward to most in this last year of your formation?
Deacon Max: I think one thing that I’m really looking forward to is serving the students. So, I canam a chaplain to the University of Mary study abroad campus. I’ll be the head chaplain from the seminary. I did it last year, but to be able to serve them as a deacon, it’ll be great because I’ll be able to preach, lead adoration, and that kind of stuff.

WRC: What advice would you have for anyone considering the priesthood? 

Deacon Max: It’s worth asking the question and you’re not silly for pursuing an answer. I think a lot of times we can get caught up in wondering if it is even worth asking the question. There might not be a clear answer. 

If you want to ask the question, ask the question now and start taking some active steps to pursuing an answer — whether that’s prayer, whether that’s visiting a seminary, talking to Father Mark — whatever it is, why wait.

You’re not going to lose out on anything by giving one year of your life to seminary. I think it’s pretty easy to see there are a lot more benefits even if I walked away after a year. The diocese isn’t going to be angry at me and neither is God.