Road to Priesthood: You cannot discern a vocation in isolation

Josiah Hanson was ordained a transitional deacon on May 30. He recently spoke with the West River Catholic staff to discuss his journey thus far.

When did you first start thinking about the priesthood?
Deacon Hanson: I mean there are a lot of little moments that brought me here. First my parents were very intentional even from a young age, we were very involved in the church. I don’t mean just going to Mass but having priests over for dinner pretty frequently. From a young age, I was  able to encounter priests as real people and not just the guy that walks out of the sacristy on Sundays. That certainly started planting some seeds that this could even be a possibility. This was something that the Lord could invite me to. 

That seed lay dormant for a lot of years, but then there were a couple of significant moments. My first Totus Tuus camp as a little 6th grader — super nervous to be away from home and going to camp. I was convinced that I wouldn’t know anybody. It was going to be terrible. I ended up walking away having this profound experience of a couple of things. One was the first time I encountered Liturgy of the Hours — praying lauds and vespers. My eyes were opened. This is part of the church. What do I have to do to do this kind of thing?  

Even more so than that, I remember spending that week with the seminarians and priests of the diocese. I encountered this joy that I had never encountered from anyone else before in my life. I certainly hadn’t named it as priesthood at all, but there was something that I thought, “I want to live a life joyful like they do.” That was the first crack the Lord used to open my heart to the possibility that this is what he was inviting me to. 

Coming into high school I was more involved with the youth group. That was in the younger days of Fr. Jonathan Dillon and experiencing the joy of his priesthood as he was an associate at the cathedral. It became a more intentional conversation of what is the Lord calling me to? What is he inviting me to? Like a wise kid I just said, “Well, I should start to date a good Catholic girl.” That seems like the next logical action. 

I tried to go down that path, but going to prayer at that time, the Lord was very clear to me. It took me a while to listen to this invitation, but I would go into adoration at the perpetual adoration chapel at the cathedral and the Lord was saying, “Josiah, this is good but it’s not what I have planned for you.” 

It took me a lot of weeks going back into that Chapel before I really believed him that this was good. Somewhere between my junior and senior year of high school I reached out to Fr. Mark McCormick and said, “Hey, I think we should talk about this.” 

What has your experience been at seminary?
Deacon Hanson: I went right into seminary for my first four years at Immaculate Heart of Mary Seminary in Winona, Minn. That was a tremendous gift. The joke I often make is that in the first year or two, the discernment question wasn’t even really on the table. It was me trying to live an ordered life. How do I continue to pray? How do I continue to grow in virtue? It opened my eyes to what the Lord was inviting me to. It was well into my second year that I could step into prayer and ask, “Where are you calling me?”

It really culminated in a beautiful experience both walking with my fellow brothers who were going through the same thing. It’s such a gift to live in the house for my first four years with 60 guys who were all aiming at the same thing. Which wasn’t necessarily priesthood but trying to follow what the Lord was inviting them to.  

The real gift of minor seminary was that it provided me with a huge foundation of prayer. I’m so thankful for my spiritual director — a 93-year-old Trappist Monk, Msgr. David Wechter, OSCO, who was living as a hermit ministering to six Carmelite hermits. By far the holiest man I have ever met in my life, many years of drawing not just on his priesthood but so many years of loving the Lord. To have him walk with me, especially going into my senior year, and asking that question, “I have been doing this thing for three-and-a-half years, and I need to make a decision. Are you calling me to Theology school? Are you calling me to major seminary? Are you calling me to commit to this?”

I remember my last meeting that I had with him just before Thanksgiving and sharing anxieties and he laughed at me. He said, “Josiah, let me share with you the things that we’ve been talking about for the last years,” and he brought this into a great light for me. This is the story of the Lord and how he has drawn himself towards you and how he’s drawn you to himself. “Are you still confused?” 

I said, “This is clear. You’re right.” 

It was this great moment of joy and clarity. I was able to leave that and go into the rector and say I do have confidence that this is where the Lord is calling me. 

I went home for Thanksgiving. I received a call from the director of spiritual life and he told me that Msgr. Wechter had taken a bad fall and he died two weeks later. But by the providence of the Lord, he knew what I needed to be able to build this foundation and continue to draw myself towards the Lord.  

Certainly, the last three years up in St. Paul studying theology, our discernment has become practical. We’re assigned to parishes. I’ve been able to be active in a parish 20 minutes from the seminary. I’m frequently being mentored by the pastor there and I’ll engage with the youth group, helping them teach OCIA, helping with harder situations. There are all these opportunities to see this whole walk. Seminary has been oriented not towards academic studies or getting a nice degree, but it’s really been oriented towards a life lived for the Church. It’s being able to be instantiated in the parish. 

How would you describe your prayer life?
Deacon Hanson: The real gift of being able to envelope each day in Scripture to mark this as the day. Especially to pray with the psalms, the great hymns to the Lord. Those of you who know me might not be overly surprised by this, but another beautiful piece of my spiritual life that has really flourished — I’m a musician and I’ve been able to spend a lot of time on it throughout my time in seminary. Especially getting myself into sacred music. That has become a real part of prayer. We have the great quote from Saint Augustine — he who sings prays twice. The real gift of the musical tradition in the Church should be to learn how we can pray in this beautiful way. We look back all the way to the Old Testament of how the psalms originated. We think of them as words in a book, but these were written as songs to the Lord, and so this great tradition of singing as prayer has been so integral to my spiritual life.

What are you looking forward to most in your last year?
Deacon Hanson: I think there’s many things, the opportunities but so much time serving as a deacon in the diocese. It’s been a huge gift to be able to focus on the purpose of what I’ve been doing for the last seven years of my life. To love the Lord and to serve the church, and so to have that time here in this coming year to serve at the cathedral. Being able to walk in those great moments of bringing children into the Church, to walk with families as they’re saying goodbye at funerals, to assist at the source and summit of our faith at the Mass. There are all these moments that I’ll be able to live my life going forward because of this great gift of ordination. It will be a way to serve the Church I’ve never been able to. 

Was there a summer assignment that has stuck with you?
Deacon Hanson: There are two that come to mind. One was doing Duc in Altum for the diocese. I have a great love for working with the young people and to be able to foster the faith in young hearts. Also, for myself, this opportunity to see the breadth of our diocese. Geographically we are one of the largest dioceses in the United States. It was such a gift to travel to different parishes to see the people of God that are geographically so far from where I grew up. We live very different lives, but we share the same diocese, and we share the same faith. 

The second one, which is quite incredible, was two summers ago I did my called ministry of the second suffering program which is our hospital assignment. That was at a hospital in Minneapolis, one of the largest hospitals in the Twin Cities area, so we had everything from patients who were finding out they were terminally ill to people who were on routine dialysis, to even spending some time in some of the psychological wards with people who are experiencing some mental health crises. The way that the Lord wants to love those who feel so down and so broken, and experience that love and know he wants to use me as a conduit to bring himself to them is humbling. You think, “How could I have anything to offer these people?” Yet he said I want to use you to reveal myself and so that was an incredible summer. I feel like I did very little because most of what I did was the ministry of being with people, but it was incredible the words the Lord would give. 

What advice would you have for someone considering the priesthood?
There are two things I’d like to say: First, you will never have success discerning any vocation in a vacuum. You’re never going to discern your vocation in isolation. Bring up what’s in your prayer life to your priests, your parents, or someone in your life that you trust, and have a good spiritual life. Having other people to support you in your vocation is huge. If you have questions, share that and talk about that with people. Oftentimes a little step forward that I can take to open my heart is a conversation with my pastor saying, “I’ve experienced this in prayer, and I need help making sense of it.”

The second thing, especially for men who are thinking about the potential of having a vocation to the priesthood, your vocation isn’t going to be discerned in a park. It’s not a lifelong commitment to say, “I’m going to go on a seminary visit.” It’s not a lifelong commitment to say, “I’ll apply and give this a year.”  For myself, knowing where I was for those first two years of seminary when I had very little certainty of where the Lord was calling me, but this is where the Lord was and I was there to grow closer to him. By saying “yes” to that little invitation and many more little invitations along the way is discernment. You never know where the Lord is going to lead but we do know that wherever it is it’s to our joy because that’s what he’s preparing for us.

Is there anything else you want to add?
Deacon Hanson: Needless to say, I’m excited to be a deacon for the Diocese of Rapid City. For me, walking through seminary with some of our guys — with Fr Josh, Fr. Robert, Fr. Max, and soon-to-be Fr. Todd — and then to have us together in my classroom is a dream. It’s been great to be with this group of men who have the same joy that I’m experiencing.

What was your experience at the ordination?
My experience was overwhelming in the most beautiful way possible. I was so overcome with the joy of the great work the Lord has done in my life and filled with so much awe that he has invited me to serve Him and His Church this way. The Litany of the Saints was a particularly moving moment as I was able to give thanks for the great Saints that have walked with me and preserved my vocation over the years. It was a great gift to have their intercession as I enter this new state of life.