Bishop Scott Bullock
Homily from the Televised Mass, NewsCenter1
The 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time, October 6, 2024

We have two high-powered readings that speak to us today, to the Christian vision of the permanence of marriage. It reminds me of the time that I was in attendance at a wedding of a college fraternity brother, a wedding at which I did not preside. The presider, one of my brother priests, offered a homily filled with much advice — how my fraternity brother and his new bride might successfully live the marriage they were beginning on that day. I believe my reaction, as the presider went on with all kinds of advice, my reaction to his detailed counsel to what the new couple was likely to experience was probably like the rest of the folks there. I thought, “Hmm, what does the priest know about all this?” For, as you know, we priests are not generally married, which might strain the credibility — and by extension the Church’s credibility — when it speaks about marriage and, in particular, the permanence of marriage.

So with this in mind, I do intend to speak today about marriage a bit, but not based on my personal experience of being a spouse, I’ve never done that, but rather based on two things. First, the marriages I have observed, including that of my parents. Then secondly, what does our Catholic tradition says about Jesus’ teaching about marriage and how have His followers through the centuries successfully lived that teaching?

But first, a short story. Years ago, I was working as a spiritual director at a youth retreat. Late one night, as the day was coming to a close, we had a group of about 20 young people gathered together with me and another adult director. It was an occasion for them to pose questions about their faith to each other. We adults were there only as resource persons if we were asked. 

Before long, the conversation devolved into how they were supposed to honor their parents though some relationships with them were strained.  What surprised me was the sheer depth of emotion and even grief that surfaced around parents who were separated or who no longer were in the lives of their children. There were many who were affected by struggling or fractured marriages and affected them deeply. It was a new confirmation to me of the importance of the permanence of marriage and who might pay the price when this doesn’t happen.

So, regarding my own parents, I am very aware that across their own marriage, their relationship was not always easy. Even more, though they had promised to love each other on their wedding day, it was clear that, while they chose to love one another, they did not always like each other on certain days. But our faith teaches us that love is about more than feelings, of course. Instead, love is willing the good of the other. And when it’s hard to will another’s good when we don’t maybe like them so much, it’s actually more loving. 

So, when the Book of Genesis from the Bible speaks of the “two becoming one” — which we just heard today — the “two becoming one” in marriage and then Jesus further specifies that “what God has joined together, no human being must separate,” he’s calling couples to love by willing the good of the other. That he follows up that teaching with another about children, if you heard that in the Gospel, and about how he wants them to come to him for care. Jesus is connecting the permanence of marriage with the good of children born of marriage. I can testify that, because my parents continued to will the good of each other and their children ahead of their own individual needs, at least most of the time when times were challenging, my siblings and I were definitely the beneficiaries.

We all know marriage can be challenging so we better ask for God’s help, right. Join me in prayer today, asking that, through the prayers of Blessed Mother Mary, all married couples might successfully live their marriage vows for the sake of themselves and their children. And may God bring healing and restoration to marriages that are struggling. And may the Lord who has brought couples together, give them the faith, hope, and love they need to live marriages that are fruitful, faithful, and forever.